The Beauty of the Gray Area
Written by Makenna Mullis, Fellows Class of 2026
Prior to starting Chattanooga Fellows seven months ago, I felt as if every topic, belief, doctrine or political position had to be black and white. I felt that I had to pick my side and defend it by all means possible. I have never been someone to particularly enjoy the gray area of life or of the Christian faith. Both the appeal and fear of Fellows was knowing that my beliefs would be refined, but I was fully unaware of the extent to which that would be true.
Through the Fellows program, I’ve had the experience of being exposed to different denominations, perspectives and backgrounds that have made me see Jesus and understand scripture in deeper ways, and also in ways I’ve never considered. Proverbs 11:12 says,“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” I believe this verse beautifully encapsulates what happens to the soul when we are tempted to believe that we must get everything right in order to live faithful lives. I think of someone like David who was anointed to be King yet had to wait years before he rose to that calling. All of those years David waited for what God had called him to do, yet in the meantime he was faithful to continue to pursue God when uncertainty was present. David was certain that God would fulfill his calling, but the when and the how remained unknown until he became King. There are aspects of the faith that we must be certain about; to remind ourselves that there is a God who knows all things and we are not him. To be able to anchor our lives in the fundamental truths of God while trusting Him in the realities that are beyond our human comprehension is crucial to the life of faith. The balance of certainty and mystery allows the human soul to fully rely on the finished work of Christ on the cross and live humbly.
As I near the end of my Fellows experience, I have come to realize that I have treated God more like a puzzle to be solved versus experiencing him as an adventure to take part in. I am still tempted to let certainty become an idol and to live as if I have the ability to understand the world in the same way God does. But I’m learning to not let my pride or desire for knowledge prevent me from living in a life of surrender to God. I have been incredibly stretched by those that have been a part of my Fellows year, and I can now say that I am in active pursuit of the gray area. I have learned to appreciate the opportunity to embrace imagination and trust in the One who does know all things.
