God is teaching me that his slowness is better than my productivity. I could fill every moment of my life with work and it still wouldn’t be enough – God wants me to place my life into the patient goodness of his.

Moving to an unknown place as a young adult was what it took me to realize that my home cannot be identified with a place or even with people I love. Home, and the belonging it brings with it, is truly found only in the One who has given me the gifts of place and people.

When I am at my most desperate, the Lord takes thought of me. When I am paralyzed by decisions, He is my help and my deliverer, faithfully guiding my next steps. These words have remained an Ebenezer of truth, a constant reminder in every decision I face.

I am getting to see the way God works through community. Not only are my friends pushing me to a deeper faith and love of God, but I also get to see God-driven people make a difference in the city. It has been so good to experience how God uses people as bearers of his love for us, and I’m excited for what comes next.

Someone once told me that, “Laughter is the closest point between two people”. This quote highlights the commonality that is found between two individuals, no matter how different they are, when they share in laughter. In order to embrace vulnerability, there must be a sense of trust and a feeling of connection – a common ground.

Through the Fellows program, I have entered a space that did not merely invite but required commitment—to presence, to people, and to the long, slow work of faithfulness. And I have found that the very ache I’ve carried—the tension between longing for intimacy and the urge to remain hidden—has become a sacred meeting place with God.

This year has taught me to depend more fully on Jesus — to live in the “already but not yet” with open hands and a hopeful heart. I’m grateful for every place I’ve called home, because each one has shown me a different glimpse of His kingdom, and taught me how to trust Him more deeply in the waiting.

As I’ve begun to trust the Lord with my social life and my to-do list, I’ve noticed a pleasant shift in my feelings about schedules and plans. I’ve begun to view them as protective safeguards for prioritizing my most valuable relationship with God.

Both the vulnerability of moving to a new city and trusting strangers with your story along with the opportunity to take action in the community in which we’ve been placed have fostered an atmosphere that promotes flourishing. I don’t know where I’ll be a year from now, but I do know who I am becoming.

I have spent much of this year learning how to be still and let God take control. I’ve been learning to release my disillusioned desires, my presumptions about God’s plan for me, and my tendency to strive. Through it all, God has gently been teaching me to surrender in order to receive His grace and guidance.

I knew that post-grad life would be hard, but the Lord knew that I needed daily practice and repetition in learning to lean into his teachings, his care, his wisdom, and his guidance amidst the challenges…Fellows has offered me an intentional community to learn and grow alongside others in committing our hearts to the Lord daily.

The Chattanooga Fellows program has broadened my perspective, not just in my career, but in how I see the world and my place within it. While that place may not always be clear to me at the moment, nor will it always be a comfortable one for me, I know that God is designing a great, diverse road made with my traits in mind.

Reading Practicing the King’s Economy has helped me realize that work is not merely a way to survive, but a way to create with the Lord. I get to work with Jesus every day to bring about a better world for all those around me.

In a world that values productivity and constant activity, taking time to pause and rest feels counterintuitive. Yet, it’s in this space of rest that I’ve learned so much about what it means to follow Christ.

Entering this year as a Fellow, I was faced with the truth that loneliness arises when we are not known. Since being in Chattanooga, I have experienced firsthand the joys, challenges, and rewards of fighting for covenant friendship and seeking to know others and be known.

I now embrace the opportunity where the Lord has planted me, even if it is not where I expected to be. I once determined my worth based on success, however, God’s metric is not success but faithfulness.

Much discontentment in my life has come from wanting the “perfect space” now. Being in The Fellows Program has taught me so much about what it means to be faithful now with what we do see, while also waiting patiently for what we have yet to see.

“We are in the process of learning where we fit in God’s grand narrative and how our specific gifts and stories can contribute to the seemingly sisyphean struggle of pushing back the darkness in our families, neighborhoods, and cities.”

During his time on earth, I think Jesus showed us what it means to really look at others, to look at the world. He taught us a way of looking that sees past the first glance, that can be interrupted without becoming distracted, and that can look at the raw and rugged realities all around without ever losing hope.

 How often am I the same as the Israelites? Wanting familiarity and safety instead of trusting what the Lord has for me. Yet, the Lord still loves the Israelites, even as they complain and disobey him. And he wants a relationship with them, just as he wants a relationship with me.