Finding Freedom in Limits
Written by Abby Hanners, Fellows Class of 2025
This year began with the closing of a chapter — leaving behind a place I called home and stepping into something new. As I started the Chattanooga Fellows program, I was carrying both grief and excitement: mourning the end of the season of life I had loved while anticipating new relationships and growth. It’s been a year of learning to live in that tension, holding space for both sorrow and joy.
Recently, I went back to Clemson, a place where I felt deeply known and where my faith was marked by childlike joy during college. It was a sweet season where I played barefoot outside and worshiped without feeling much heaviness. Visiting reminded me of all I had left behind — but also showed me how much I have grown. Friends told me I seemed more mature, and I realized the Lord had been working slowly and faithfully in my heart this year, shaping me to love and trust Him more deeply.
Coming into this year, I thought I understood what it meant to live after the fall — to know the world is broken and to long for redemption. But through our classes, conversations, and experiences, I’ve come to feel the heaviness of it in a new and deeper way. The Lord has used this year to grow my desire for eternity with Him — to long for the day when all will be made new.
Being part of a new city and diverse community has given me glimpses of what His kingdom will look like — a kingdom without sorrow, without burdens, full of pure delight. While I still grieve the young faith I experienced in Clemson, I also treasure the ways the Lord has expanded my understanding of His goodness. I have seen pieces of eternity in new ways, and though my soul still longs for the day when sorrow will be no more, I am learning how to live in the heaviness while holding onto the joy that is coming.
This year has taught me to depend more fully on Jesus — to live in the “already but not yet” with open hands and a hopeful heart. I’m grateful for every place I’ve called home, because each one has shown me a different glimpse of His kingdom, and taught me how to trust Him more deeply in the waiting.
